THE BEST DECISION OF MY LIFE
Sunday, April 1, 2018 0 comment(s)
Hello everyone . It's me again . your worst nightmare .
nah im just kidding .
im such a kawaii loli that nobody can resist .
okay that's not the point .
My point here today is that I'm finally getting ENROLLED IN A PUBLIC UNIVERSITY !!
yeah as the title says , im in ! Ive been offered to a public university in Malaysia in which i'm really thankful and grateful of . Never in my life would I think I would get one of the offers from a university . It's like the greatest ending for everyone of us , for my family of course .
okay so actually I came from a middle class family where my mum told me she don't want to waste that much of the money unless I got full scholarship or be totally responsible of my college fees if I really wanted to continue my studies after my spm . so , after my spm ( in case you don't know , its actually similar to O'levels ) , I've decided to call it a quit since my parents couldn't afford the luxurious college entrance fees of any private institution and I don't want them to risk the effort of sending me off to a private institution where all my concern is how much money do I need to budget this week , what kind of part time job should I get to ease their burden .
I've chosen to continue my studies after my spm at UTAR , taking accounting of course duh ( cause it's the cheapest course out there at the cheapest private institution duhhhh ! )
GUESS THAT WAS MY WORST DECISION AFTER ALL
I have zero knowledge about accounting , finance and whatsoever .
okay so my mum just nonchalantly took out her college accounting books to sharpen my knowledge about the basics of accounting ,I guess that accounting is not my thing after all . I got so confused and so stressed out because it wasn't my thing .
after all this while , the idea of getting into form6 had never crossed my mind . I've never ever ever think of getting into form6 last time . but you know , the safest place is the most dangerous place ever . and thats why I give it a shot . I took physics as my major .
STPM CHANGED MY LIFE .
no doubt , it really changed my life .
My life has gotten easier thanks to STPM .
it's mostly because you don't have to worry about the monthly fees that your parents need to pay for the school . and the syllabus and everything is really really tough . ( I remember myself crying while studying for stpm exam ) It just somehow makes you stronger and tougher as time goes by and it also solely trains your critical thinking skills that you cannot learn from anywhere . and it's really really cheap too ! ( well , im a stingy person ) I like how it makes me grow and get out of my comfort zone because of the super tough syllabus and the moment you know that you cannot depend on your teacher because your teacher is still new and have zero experience teaching the stpm students , you have no choice but to be your own teacher by referring to a lot of reference sites at the same time .
( im sorry my chemistry teacher , you sucks )
even after stpm and I got offered to a public university , the monthly expenses are really cheap and you don't have to spend that much compared to a private institution . that saved me so much money ! and the best thing is , my sister ( who's 3 times smarter than me ) got full time scholarship from a private institution so my parents don't have to spend a single penny on her because she got rm600 allowance every month .
I'm thankful for everything I have in life , for me . This is everything I've ever wanted .
so for anyone who has financial problems , if you're really good in doing your studies . please don't be afraid to try stpm ! I know it's really tough , but it won't harm you in anyway if you try to give it a chance , right ?
Well actually there's tons of bullshits and bloopers about stpm that you get from the streets and from those kehpo aunties and uncles who knows no shit about stpm. ( I've been there too last time , I know ) well actually do you realised something ? HOW THE HELL THOSE AUNTIES AND UNCLES KNOW ? most of them ended their studies around spm then no more . actually they don't have the right to comment something that they're unsure of . especially something that includes the decision of taking the next step in life .
WELL , IT'S ACTUALLY YOUR DECISION TO BELIEVE IN WHAT THEY SAY OR NOT . THEY CANNOT DECIDE IT FOR YOU. ONLY YOU CAN.
oh btw , I'm going to be a sophomore in my uni in 5 months !
in case if you're wondering , im an electronic and electrical engineering student in ump .
Tuesday, June 6, 2017 0 comment(s)
dedicated to my midnight thoughts :
GROWING UP SUCKS
you know it sucks when you're growing up
when you're growing up , things changes accordingly . your friends doesn't stay by your side anymore , as we all walk in separate ways . your parents gets older and looks older , they're not in their best shape compare to few years ago . Things get more and more expensive and the society changed . 12 y/o looks like 23 y/o . ( its because I have grown this much and I cant even do my own basic makeup ) I'm terrified of contacts , thats why I've never gained enough courage to learn how to wear them .
betrayals , heartaches and everything that you need to experience comes in package when you started to grow up , and when you get to step into the society , things just couldn't get any worst .
To be honest , I just experienced a brutal heartache few months ago , I can still remember it clearly because it happens around mid February , I have this
I was depressed . I feel like I was useless because I couldn't get any scholarships at first . because I've never even wanted to try form 6 ( as you can see from my previous posts ) . and that's just semester 1 . I screwed it big , I can't afford to retake those subjects because I've wasted my time being overly obsessed with this guy . I was so stupid back then . I spend countless nights chatting with him ( because I thought he liked me back ) . So this guy went to college and I'm still at my school studying form 6 . But its okay , the ship is still sailing strong , for 1.5 years ( for goodness sake ) how stupid am I . He rejected me few times but I keep thinking that he will accept me someday .
but then , I finally had enough of all these craps .
I started to work hard for myself , focus on myself . Keeping myself occupied is the best way of forgetting him . I'm okay .
Few weeks later ,
until then I've met this another guy named teddy . ( I'm not revealing his real name , so I reveal his nickname instead )
to be honest I really really hate him at first , I don't know why . He's tall (180cm) for asians , quite tanned and has this quirky smile which irritates me a lot . The day where I actually met him was at feb 28 . We went for a morning jog and that day I don't feel so well because I had insomnia a night before . As usual , I'm so stressed out that day , because my result releases at 12pm so I need to head back to school to take my STPM result . & jogging at the park with my friends early in the morning was a good choice . at least I tend to forget about my stress once in a while .
so this teddy guy , he seems like a liar at first ( because he was once really popular ) ,
and when he started to compliment me this and that & I thought he's trying to flirt with me ( I'm not buying his tricks btw ) , so it gets irritating as time goes by , so I ended up roasting him and trying to make myself sounded bad so he could stop all these flirtations . I even did a background check of him .
For that time being I just knew him for about 6 to 7 hours and he's already being so flirty like hmm " no I like short girls especially around 153cm " or " let's video call once we get back " and " I'll drive you home today cos tomorrow we'll go to bakkutteh " and he even shaved his beard .
and I thought he's just being nice to a new friend ( me )
that time I couldn't think twice , because for a moment I think that nobody would ever looked up to me . ( I'm not pretty or rich or popular or anything , I'm just average )
But that day , he drive me home safely . and messaged me " it's raining and you better have a shower so you wouldn't catch a cold the next day "
Then I started to like him a little , as a friend .
and our feelings developed as we went to beach . ( all this while I thought he's just being friendly to me and nothing else )
and soon ...
we dated . ( don't ask me how or when did we start dating , I don't even know )
Friday, May 26, 2017 0 comment(s)
to whoever that still pays a visit to my blog ,
feel free to leave me a comment or a message me
because I sure miss my fellow bloggers
one thing that I like about this website is , you can either choose to be anonymous or leave your name after you message me .
have a great day :)
Wednesday, January 25, 2017 0 comment(s)
I'm here to post a little memory of my grandma ( nana ) , since i was unable to sleep , so i chose to blog about her instead .
My nana , was a super kind person . and i'm thankful to her for nurturing me , giving me advices , guiding me towards a good path , supporting me in every meaningful aspects , being proud of me and loves me .
To be honest , i've met so many great people in this life . and for the past 19 years , she gave me everything she can afford and i think 19 years is too short for me to spend that much time with her . I'd remembered she once told me that she wishes to see that i was being able to get into a local uni right after form 6 , but sadly she couldn't wait for that long . she passed away when i'm studying for my term 3 exam . ( right before i have my term 2 result )
I still remember , due to my grandparents' health problems and the train is unable to proceed their journey, they are unable to travel back to their hometown ( which is my hometown ) to reunite with us during chinese new year 2016. so we are having cny in separate areas and my cousins are also having their own family vacation in europe . to be honest i don't think that travelling overseas during cny is a good idea since it's an annual event for us family members to gather from different places and accompany the old ones in our family . and i'd never thought that it was the last chinese new year i've celebrate with her . it has been 2 years i didnt meet her . AND I COULDN'T MEET HER . ( there were some family problems that i wasn't being able to expose )
So it has been 2 years and of course we use wechat to videocall often but i still miss her soft skin . Her voice was still okay right until when she's having red spots all over her calves , none of us have any idea of what happened . her breath was getting weaker when she speak over the phone , i feel something is off . i convinced her to get a medical checkup and she did consume medications . but none of them work , turns out the doctor has falsely diagnosed the actual thing .
I hate the type of ignorance of my uncles ( who took care of her at johor ) who assumed that the red spots wont bring any harm to her, and when they send a photo of my grandma looking as thin as a stick to us and we were so stunned . and we rushed them to bring her to hospital , my grandma seems to refuse medication and lastly she passed away in her dreams . It makes me angry whenever i think of my ignorance uncles don't know everything matters when it comes to sickness . It was stupid .
I'm sin ying . 20 . Asian . Chinese .
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